Quote

Regarding local residents attempting to ban sex shops from their neighborhoods: You show me a parent who says he's worried about his child's innocence and I'll show you a homeowner trying to maintain equity.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Show
Local
Residents
Shows
Maintain
Bans
Children
Innocence
Regarding
Trying
Worried
Equity
Sex
Attempting
Says
Shops
Homeowner
Parent
Locals
Homeowners
Child
Neighborhood
Neighborhoods

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One of the interesting things about outsidership is that underneath it there's a longing to belong. I just wish the thing I refused to belong to - the species, Western capital culture - was a little more respectable. My one true relaxation is my flotation tank, in which I can either meditate or just drift off.
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Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!
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Your home is your refuge.
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That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
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Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
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What wine goes with Captain Crunch?
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They [the Reagan Administration] want to put street criminals in jail to make life safer for the business criminals. They're against street crime, providing that street isn't Wall Street.
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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
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No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.
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I do something about the weather. I stay home.
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First I was a mimic. Practically from the moment I began talking, I did impersonations of the people in my neighborhood - the storekeepers, the policemen, my teachers.
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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
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I can remember staring at the orphanage and feeling envy.
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It's depressing to see blacks wanting to dive into the mainstream of American commercial life. They come from a magnificent African culture based on aesthetics, and they all want to become fort builders like the vicious people who originally enslaved them.
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The straightest line between a straight distance is two points.
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How come when it's us, it's an abortion, and when it's a chicken, it's an omelette? Are we so much better than chickens all of a sudden? When did this happen that we passed chickens in goodness? Name six ways we're better than chickens. See, nobody can do it! You know why? 'Cause chickens are decent people.
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Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin' ready to hang himself.
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One of the effects it [cocaine] had on my personality - my moods, my behaviors - was that it inhibited me a lot. It kind of took possibilities out of my world, and made the focus of things very narrow.
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A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
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