Quote

Regarding local residents attempting to ban sex shops from their neighborhoods: You show me a parent who says he's worried about his child's innocence and I'll show you a homeowner trying to maintain equity.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Show
Local
Residents
Shows
Maintain
Bans
Children
Innocence
Regarding
Trying
Worried
Equity
Sex
Attempting
Says
Shops
Homeowner
Parent
Locals
Homeowners
Child
Neighborhood
Neighborhoods

More quotes by George Carlin

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We kind of shape our truths as we speak them. We fashion things to suit the occasion or the person or our own needs in the moment.
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There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It seems only right. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' These days, Trajedi.
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Writing is really wonderful art. A lot of this is discovery. A lot of things are lying around waiting to be discovered and that's our job as writers is to just notice them and bring them to life.
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If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else.
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No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.
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How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on television that it's a spy satellite?
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The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election
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Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.
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I did a lot of thinking, and used mental activity to relieve whatever feelings I had. I became very left-brained, and I was good in school. That is, I was a smart kid.
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Do you remember Barbara Bush? I call her the silver douchebag.
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President George Bush declared a National Day of Prayer for Peace. This was after he had carefully arranged and started the war.
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Hallucinogens are a value changer...like it or not, it changes your values, it opens up windows (doors of perception.)
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For an entertainer, part of the thing you do is just style. And the coke did help me get into great runs of pure form.
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I don't like the phrase shock value. Surprise is essential in comedy, and if people are shocked by what I consider merely surprising, then that's their shock. But there is no joke without surprise.
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Fussy eater is a euphemism for big pain in the ass.
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Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
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To me, smoking pot meant sitting with a newspaper on my legs, rolling the seeds down, pulling the twigs out and finally producing a perfectly cylindrical, absolutely wonderful joint that you either locked at both ends or pinched off, or pinched at one end and left open at the other.
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Besides the drugs and counterculture, I started talking about myself, which is the first thing you do when you are a writer.
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I say things that can be defined as prayers. But I don't pray to a power or ask an entity to intercede in the earthly scheme, because I don't believe that happens. But if I see a really unfortunate person in the street, I do pray, yes, though I suppose it's really more like a mantra to ease my own sorrow.
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Golf is an arrogant, elitist game that takes up entirely too much space in this country.
George Carlin