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Political discourse has been reduced to Where's the beef? Read my lips, and Make my day. Where are the assassins when we really need them?
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Discourse
Lips
Read
Political
Need
Needs
Assassins
Really
Beef
Make
Reduced
More quotes by George Carlin
There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment.
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Grass probably helped me as much as it hurt me. Especially as a performer.
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One of the interesting things about outsidership is that underneath it there's a longing to belong. I just wish the thing I refused to belong to - the species, Western capital culture - was a little more respectable. My one true relaxation is my flotation tank, in which I can either meditate or just drift off.
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The following statement is true. The previous statement is false.
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I kind of like it when a lot of people die, and on the other hand I always wonder how many unused frequent-flier miles they had.
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There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting!
George Carlin
If someone loves you and they leave and don't come back, it was never meant to be. If someone loves you and they leave and come back, set them on fire.
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When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
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I'd say pot has been a break-even proposition for me.
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By the age of six or seven, I was already doing voices and faces, making my friends and my mother laugh.
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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
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With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius.
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I'll tell you a little secret about the Blues: it's not enough to know which notes to play, you have to know why they need to be played.
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Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
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I've never owned a telescope, but it's something I'm thinking of looking into.
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Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
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In most polls there are always about 5 percent of the people who 'don't know.' What isn't generally understood is that it's the same people in every poll.
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I say if you're going to go for the Angel bullshit you might as well go for the Zombie package as well.
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Anger is a handy term and words are tricky, as we know. What one man perceives as anger, another person - in my case the deliverer of material - is, Don't you see it, don't you see how badly you're doing? It's like shaking a child - which you're not supposed to do.
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Hallucinogens are a value changer...like it or not, it changes your values, it opens up windows (doors of perception.)
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