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Political discourse has been reduced to Where's the beef? Read my lips, and Make my day. Where are the assassins when we really need them?
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Make
Reduced
Discourse
Lips
Read
Political
Need
Needs
Assassins
Really
Beef
More quotes by George Carlin
One of the effects it [cocaine] had on my personality - my moods, my behaviors - was that it inhibited me a lot. It kind of took possibilities out of my world, and made the focus of things very narrow.
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If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
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Running isn't a sport because anyone can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run, you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated do you?
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Sometimes when I'm told to use my own discretion, if no one is looking I'll use someone else's. But I always put it back.
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I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen.
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So far, this is the oldest I've been.
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You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.
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I think it keeps the child alive in me. There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people.
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But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
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I should think it takes a fairly low intellect to draw pleasure from the following activity: hitting a ball with a crooked stick. and then walking after it! An then ..hitting it again!
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Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
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How is it possible to have a civil war?
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One philosopher has rightly said that property is theft. But I'd like to use my future ownership of property to give something back.
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In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.
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We get what we deserve. They are our elected officials.
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