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Never get on an airplane if the pilot is wearing a hat that has more than three pastel colors.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Three
Pastel
Never
Pilot
Pilots
Airplane
Colors
Hats
Wearing
Color
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I did a lot of thinking, and used mental activity to relieve whatever feelings I had. I became very left-brained, and I was good in school. That is, I was a smart kid.
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With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius.
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When he got loaded, the human cannonball knew there were not many men of his caliber.
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I don't get all choked up about yellow ribbons and American flags. I see them as symbols, and I leave them to the symbol-minded.
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The phrase surgical strike might be more acceptable if it were common practice to perform surgery with high explosives.
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They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles.
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To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.
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We [americans] are not a freedom-loving people in the beautiful, spiritual sense. We have an inspiring Constitution, but we're a hardhearted people.
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A pear is a failed apple.
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One philosopher has rightly said that property is theft. But I'd like to use my future ownership of property to give something back.
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Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
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Christian Deodorant: Thou Shalt Not Smell
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