Quote

It's legal for men to be floorwalkers and illegal for women to be streetwalkers.

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Legal
Illegal
Women
Men

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
George Carlin
Image
How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on television that it's a spy satellite?
George Carlin
Image
Life is a series of dogs.
George Carlin
Image
Never get on an airplane if the pilot is wearing a hat that has more than three pastel colors.
George Carlin
Image
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard
George Carlin
Image
For a long time, I've distinguished between entertainer and performer and entertainer and artist. To me, an entertainer is someone who pleases others, and an artist tries to please himself.
George Carlin
Image
To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.
George Carlin
Image
Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.
George Carlin
Image
You never see a smiling runner.
George Carlin
Image
It's all bullshit, folks and it's bad for ya.
George Carlin
Image
The New Testament is not new anymore' it's thousands of years old. It's time to start calling it the Less Old Testament.
George Carlin
Image
Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it.
George Carlin
Image
With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius.
George Carlin
Image
Praying is begging for an unseen deity to alter the laws of nature for someone admittedly unworthy.
George Carlin
Image
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
George Carlin
Image
Military cemeteries around the world are packed with brainwashed dead soldiers who were convinced God was on their side. America prays for God to destroy our enemies. Our enemies pray for God to destroy us. Somebody's gonna be disappointed! Somebody's wasting their time! Could it be.. everyone?
George Carlin
Image
Does killing time damage eternity?
George Carlin
Image
Your home is your refuge.
George Carlin
Image
When you think about it, attention-deficit order makes a lot of sense. In this country there isn't a lot worth paying attention to.
George Carlin
Image
Being a Dodgers fan led to my first Air Force court-martial, but that's another story.
George Carlin