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I do something about the weather. I stay home.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Stay
Home
Something
Weather

More quotes by George Carlin

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In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! - I hope I'll be safe at home!
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As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.
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I definitely have a gift for language that is rhythmic and attractive to the ear, and I have interesting [verbal] imagery which I guess is a poetic touch.
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Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain, For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain. America, America, man sheds his waste on thee, And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea.
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Self-expression is a hallmark of an artist, of art, to get something off one's chest, to sing one's song. So that element is present in all art. It is the key to even standing up and saying, Hey, listen to me. Self-expression can be based on looking at the world and making observations about it.
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Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
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When I first heard the song Don't worry - be happy I realized it was exactly the kind of mindless philosophy that Americans would respond to. It would make a great national anthem along with Me first.
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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Why should it be illegal to sell something that's perfectly legal to give away?
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I recently bought a book of free verse. For twelve dollars.
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Can placebos cause side effects? If so, are the side effects real?
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Did you ever look at your watch, and you look away... and you don't know what time it is?
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I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes
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Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.
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On Thanksgiving, you realize you're living in a modern world. Millions of turkeys baste themselves in millions of ovens that clean themselves.
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My father? My father left when I was quite young. Well actually, he was asked to leave. He had trouble metabolizing alcohol.
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Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.
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I've never owned a telescope, but it's something I'm thinking of looking into.
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If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.
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What occurs as you age is an accumulation of information, data, knowledge, and what I'm going to call the matrix of the mind. There's just a rich, textured, field of information and impressions that have been all networked by the brain.
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