Quote

Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game. Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Games
Nineteenth
Twentieth
Technological
Baseball
Football
Game
Century
Struggle
Pastoral

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
I find that an entertainer is quite content to sit still, and I think an artist always has a little motion, always going somewhere. May not know where it is, but there is some sort of unnamed destination. There is some pulling, some movement. So I just found myself in that category according to my own analysis.
George Carlin
Image
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
George Carlin
Image
When you think about it, 12:15 P.M. is actually 11:75 A.M.
George Carlin
Image
For a long time, I've distinguished between entertainer and performer and entertainer and artist. To me, an entertainer is someone who pleases others, and an artist tries to please himself.
George Carlin
Image
I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.
George Carlin
Image
As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.
George Carlin
Image
Religion is just mind control.
George Carlin
Image
Fussy eater is a euphemism for big pain in the ass.
George Carlin
Image
The secret of success is doing something you love, doing it well and being recognized for it
George Carlin
Image
We created god in our own image and likeness!
George Carlin
Image
Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it.
George Carlin
Image
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
George Carlin
Image
The New Testament is not new anymore' it's thousands of years old. It's time to start calling it the Less Old Testament.
George Carlin
Image
The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is.
George Carlin
Image
Hallucinogens are a value changer...like it or not, it changes your values, it opens up windows (doors of perception.)
George Carlin
Image
I think self-expression is present at all times, and whether or not you're talking about the outside world or your responses to it depends on the moment and the subject.
George Carlin
Image
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
George Carlin
Image
The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
George Carlin
Image
Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away.
George Carlin
Image
Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.
George Carlin