Quote

Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game. Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Century
Struggle
Pastoral
Games
Nineteenth
Twentieth
Technological
Baseball
Football
Game

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
George Carlin
Image
I've been a performer for a long time and I know when people are laughing from their guts, from the inside, and when their tuxedos are laughing.
George Carlin
Image
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.
George Carlin
Image
How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
George Carlin
Image
I can remember staring at the orphanage and feeling envy.
George Carlin
Image
No one who has had Taps played for them has ever been able to hear it.
George Carlin
Image
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
George Carlin
Image
Never get on an airplane if the pilot is wearing a hat that has more than three pastel colors.
George Carlin
Image
People get all upset about torture, but when you get right down to it, it's really a pretty good way of finding out something a person doesn't want you to know.
George Carlin
Image
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
George Carlin
Image
We created god in our own image and likeness!
George Carlin
Image
If you live long enough, sooner or later everybody you know has cancer.
George Carlin
Image
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
George Carlin
Image
I went to the Missing Persons Bureau but no one was there.
George Carlin
Image
Dogs and cats get put to sleep hogs and cows get slaughtered.
George Carlin
Image
Golf is an arrogant, elitist game that takes up entirely too much space in this country.
George Carlin
Image
Religion has what is EASILY the greatest bullshit story of all time.
George Carlin
Image
People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
George Carlin
Image
When I first heard the song Don't worry - be happy I realized it was exactly the kind of mindless philosophy that Americans would respond to. It would make a great national anthem along with Me first.
George Carlin
Image
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.
George Carlin