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Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game. Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Century
Struggle
Pastoral
Games
Nineteenth
Twentieth
Technological
Baseball
Football
Game

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Why do they bother saying raw sewage? Do some people actually cook that stuff?
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Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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If this is the best God can do, I'm not impressed.
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You show me a tropical fruit and I'll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala.
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Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?
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If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else.
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Two things happened. The creative side of my career was harmed. When I'd sit down and write under the influence of coke, the ratio of pages kept to pages thrown out declined drastically. But onstage, when rapping about a feeling I already owned, I would sometimes get a burst of eloquence.
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As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.
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Some people think that words can injure the psyche or the moral fiber. And they really can't.
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I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.
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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
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All music is the blues. All of it.
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You show me something that doesn't cause cancer, and I'll show you something that isn't on the market yet.
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Golf is an arrogant, elitist game that takes up entirely too much space in this country.
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At 68 I'm every age I ever was. I always think of that. I'm not just 68. I'm also 55 and 21 and three. Oh especially three.
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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
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