Quote

And, of course, the funniest food: kumquats. I don't even bring them home anymore. I sit there laughing and they go to waste.

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Bring
Courses
Course
Home
Funniest
Even
Anymore
Waste
Laughing
Food

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.
George Carlin
Image
The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.
George Carlin
Image
Anger is a handy term and words are tricky, as we know. What one man perceives as anger, another person - in my case the deliverer of material - is, Don't you see it, don't you see how badly you're doing? It's like shaking a child - which you're not supposed to do.
George Carlin
Image
Golf is an arrogant, elitist game that takes up entirely too much space in this country.
George Carlin
Image
You know who would make an interesting murder-suicide? Madeline Albright and Yanni.
George Carlin
Image
Political discourse has been reduced to Where's the beef? Read my lips, and Make my day. Where are the assassins when we really need them?
George Carlin
Image
I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
George Carlin
Image
The status quo sucks.
George Carlin
Image
I just try to find targets I feel something about and express it my way.
George Carlin
Image
I've never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.
George Carlin
Image
I was a hip kid. When I saw Bambi it was the midnight show.
George Carlin
Image
Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
George Carlin
Image
So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
George Carlin
Image
If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.
George Carlin
Image
I think tobacco and alcohol warnings are too general. They should be more to the point: 'People who smoke will eventually cough up small pieces of lung.'... And 'Warning!! Alcohol will turn you into the same jerk your father was.'
George Carlin
Image
You never see a smiling runner.
George Carlin
Image
Military cemeteries around the world are packed with brainwashed dead soldiers who were convinced God was on their side. America prays for God to destroy our enemies. Our enemies pray for God to destroy us. Somebody's gonna be disappointed! Somebody's wasting their time! Could it be.. everyone?
George Carlin
Image
I find that an entertainer is quite content to sit still, and I think an artist always has a little motion, always going somewhere. May not know where it is, but there is some sort of unnamed destination. There is some pulling, some movement. So I just found myself in that category according to my own analysis.
George Carlin
Image
Whereas your blackness, ethnicity, homosexuality is something that might be genetic, I can't touch that, and I have no right.
George Carlin
Image
As powerful as anyone may claim God to be, somehow he always needs money.
George Carlin