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Golf is an arrogant, elitist game that takes up entirely too much space in this country.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Much
Arrogant
Entirely
Golf
Game
Takes
Games
Space
Country
Elitist

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Anyone who's onstage is going to attract a certain number of misguided people. But I was never very interested in groupies. Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
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Besides the drugs and counterculture, I started talking about myself, which is the first thing you do when you are a writer.
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I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
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Life is tough, then you die.
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All the wrong things for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes people just want to feel different. And so long as Third World peasants are poor they will send us drugs, and as long as we are empty we will ask for this little plant.
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The whole problem with the world today: private property. If no one owned anything, it would be a lot better. There's even an entire industry devoted to keeping an eye on other people's stuff. This is how stupid it's got. If you decide to get rid of a lot of your stuff, you can give it to a thrift shop or to Goodwill.
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Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body
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The more complicated the order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee, half soy, half lowfat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet,' ooooh, you're a huge asshole.
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I hope no one asks me to show them the ropes I have no idea where they are. Maybe I could pull some strings and find out.
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I don't get all choked up about yellow ribbons and American flags. I see them as symbols, and I leave them to the symbol-minded.
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More people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason.
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I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
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George Washington’s brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.
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The base of evil in the world is religion of any kind
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Christian Deodorant: Thou Shalt Not Smell
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Do you know the nicest thing about looking at pictures of a 1950's baseball park? The only people wearing baseball caps are the players.
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