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I definitely have a gift for language that is rhythmic and attractive to the ear, and I have interesting [verbal] imagery which I guess is a poetic touch.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Definitely
Ears
Touch
Gift
Rhythmic
Guess
Verbal
Interesting
Imagery
Language
Poetic
Attractive
More quotes by George Carlin
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
George Carlin
People have material needs, but you don't need a deodorant for every different day of the week. You don't need four hundred varieties of mustard. This is what I call too many choices. There are too many choices in America.
George Carlin
Why do 'slow down' and 'slow up' mean the same thing? Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
George Carlin
I've been a performer for a long time and I know when people are laughing from their guts, from the inside, and when their tuxedos are laughing.
George Carlin
I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.
George Carlin
There is nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine ... been here 4 1/2 billion years. We've been here, what, a 100,000 years, maybe 200,000. And we've only been engaged in heavy industry a little over 200 years. 200 years versus 4 1/2 billion. And we have the conceit to think that somehow we're a threat? The planet isn't going away. We are.
George Carlin
I think tobacco and alcohol warnings are too general. They should be more to the point: 'People who smoke will eventually cough up small pieces of lung.'... And 'Warning!! Alcohol will turn you into the same jerk your father was.'
George Carlin
When people asked me, Do you get high to go onstage? I could never understand the question. I mean, I'd been high since eight that morning. Going onstage had nothing to do with it.
George Carlin
Religion cruelly exploits our need to feel connected.
George Carlin
I do something about the weather. I stay home.
George Carlin
Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?
George Carlin
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
George Carlin
The mayfly lives only one day. And sometimes it rains.
George Carlin
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
George Carlin
Religion has what is EASILY the greatest bullshit story of all time.
George Carlin
I'm in favor of personal growth as long as it doesn't include malignant tumors.
George Carlin
Never get on an airplane if the pilot is wearing a hat that has more than three pastel colors.
George Carlin
Personally, emotionally, I'd rather divorce myself from the world than face the heartbreak of partial success. Because partial success implies overwhelming failure.
George Carlin
I don't understand why prostitution is illegal, Selling is legal, f***ing is legal. So why isn't it legal to sell f***ing? Why should it be illegal to sell something that's legal to give away?
George Carlin
I think self-expression is present at all times, and whether or not you're talking about the outside world or your responses to it depends on the moment and the subject.
George Carlin
