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We get what we deserve. They are our elected officials.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Elected
Officials
Deserve

More quotes by George Carlin

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Singing is basically a form of pleasant, controlled screaming.
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Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
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Personally, emotionally, I'd rather divorce myself from the world than face the heartbreak of partial success. Because partial success implies overwhelming failure.
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Why do 'slow down' and 'slow up' mean the same thing? Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
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Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!
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Whenever you see the word cuisine used instead of the word food, be prepared to pay an additional eighty percent.
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With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius.
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I did a lot of thinking, and used mental activity to relieve whatever feelings I had. I became very left-brained, and I was good in school. That is, I was a smart kid.
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Anyone who's onstage is going to attract a certain number of misguided people. But I was never very interested in groupies. Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
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Did you ever look at your watch, and you look away... and you don't know what time it is?
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Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
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The New Testament is not new anymore' it's thousands of years old. It's time to start calling it the Less Old Testament.
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The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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People who ask Can I ask you a question? Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?
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It's all bullshit, folks and it's bad for ya.
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Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense!
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Every day I break my own personal record for number of days I have been alive.
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You're all going to die. I hate to remind you, but it is on your schedule. It probably won't happen when you'd like generally, it's an inconvenience.
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I believe my first duty is to survive. And I'm not just talking about criminals coming into my home. I once seriously considered getting a gun to protect myself from the police. If I need a weapon to continue living, I'll get one. And I'll use it.
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All the wrong things for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes people just want to feel different. And so long as Third World peasants are poor they will send us drugs, and as long as we are empty we will ask for this little plant.
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