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Number one, one, one on wonderful WINO.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Wonderful
Wino
Winos
Number
Numbers

More quotes by George Carlin

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Shopping and buying and getting and having comprise the Great American Addiction. No one is immune. When the underclass riots in this country they don't kill policemen and politicians, they steal merchandise. How embarrassing.
George Carlin
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We spend the early years feeding our brains with information and the latter half trying not to think about it all.
George Carlin
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We think in language. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language.
George Carlin
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Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
George Carlin
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If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
George Carlin
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At best, God can be viewed as nothing more than an uncaring incompetent father-figure
George Carlin
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The good lord tripped me up behind the line of scrimmage.
George Carlin
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One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you're too tired.
George Carlin
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Soft rock music isn’t rock, and it ain’t music. It’s just soft.
George Carlin
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You never see a smiling runner.
George Carlin
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If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? Why is 'phonics' not spelled the way it sounds? How come abbreviated is such a long word?
George Carlin
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You're really spread out now, you've got stuff all over the WORLD! You've got stuff at home, stuff in storage, stuff in Honolulu, stuff in Maui, stuff in your pockets...supply lines are getting longer and harder to maintain.
George Carlin
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot. And although I never forgot it, I never quite memorized it either. So what I’m left with is the memory of having learned something very wise that I can’t quite remember.
George Carlin
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Suppose I could shoot myself in the mouth, but what if I miss? People will laugh at me.
George Carlin
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It's legal for men to be floorwalkers and illegal for women to be streetwalkers.
George Carlin
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As powerful as anyone may claim God to be, somehow he always needs money.
George Carlin
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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
George Carlin
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The New Testament is not new anymore' it's thousands of years old. It's time to start calling it the Less Old Testament.
George Carlin
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I just love it when I hear a little commotion, someone leaving. When I see those doors in the back . . .
George Carlin
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
George Carlin