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Number one, one, one on wonderful WINO.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Wonderful
Wino
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Numbers
More quotes by George Carlin
Hitler never bothered with restaurant reservations he just dropped by. And somehow they always found him a table.
George Carlin
At best, God can be viewed as nothing more than an uncaring incompetent father-figure
George Carlin
Religion is a self-conferred intellectual decision it's not something you get at birth and is unchangeable. You're collusive with the religion when you accept it you have a choice.
George Carlin
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
George Carlin
No one who has had Taps played for them has ever been able to hear it.
George Carlin
One thing leads to another? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
George Carlin
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
George Carlin
You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.
George Carlin
Know my feelings about traffic laws? Cop didn't see it? I didn't do it.
George Carlin
Nothing you see on the Internet is mine unless it comes from one of my albums, books, HBO specials, or appeared on my website.
George Carlin
You show me a tropical fruit and I'll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala.
George Carlin
The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.
George Carlin
There are an awful lot of things in the cut of street drugs that eventually make you sick. I reached a point where the skin around the edges of my fingernails used to hurt all the time. And it would peel away easily. Now, that must have been from some poison in the cut.
George Carlin
Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
George Carlin
My advice: Just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.
George Carlin
Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.
George Carlin
Property is theft. Nobody owns anything. When you die, it all stays here.
George Carlin
You wouldn't know it, from some of the things I've said over the years, but I like people. I do. I like people, but I like them in short bursts. I don't like people for extended periods of time. I'm all right with them for a little while, but once you get up past around... a minute, minute and a half, I gotta get the fuck out of there.
George Carlin
Dogs and cats get put to sleep hogs and cows get slaughtered.
George Carlin
If the cops didn't see it, I didn't do it!
George Carlin
