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Number one, one, one on wonderful WINO.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Winos
Number
Numbers
Wonderful
Wino
More quotes by George Carlin
I kind of like it when a lot of people die, and on the other hand I always wonder how many unused frequent-flier miles they had.
George Carlin
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
George Carlin
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
George Carlin
Catholics are against abortions. Catholics are against homosexuals. But, I can't think of anyone who has less abortions than homosexuals!
George Carlin
They say if you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns. Well, those are precisely the people who need them!
George Carlin
If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.
George Carlin
If the reason for climbing Mt. Everest is that it's hard to do, why does everyone go up the easy side?
George Carlin
I don't like the phrase shock value. Surprise is essential in comedy, and if people are shocked by what I consider merely surprising, then that's their shock. But there is no joke without surprise.
George Carlin
Hitler never bothered with restaurant reservations he just dropped by. And somehow they always found him a table.
George Carlin
In Rome, the emperor sat in a special part of the Colosseum called the Caesarian Section.
George Carlin
All messages from Satan are played forward and are in standard American English.
George Carlin
Give now. Somewhere, someone feels crappy. You can help.
George Carlin
It's a keep your fingers crossed business, the entertainment business.
George Carlin
I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen.
George Carlin
Why do they bother with a suicide watch when someone is on death row? Keep an eye on this guy. We're gonna kill him, and we don't want him to hurt himself.
George Carlin
Self-expression is a hallmark of an artist, of art, to get something off one's chest, to sing one's song. So that element is present in all art. It is the key to even standing up and saying, Hey, listen to me. Self-expression can be based on looking at the world and making observations about it.
George Carlin
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
George Carlin
When he got loaded, the human cannonball knew there were not many men of his caliber.
George Carlin
It's all bullshit, folks and it's bad for ya.
George Carlin
The secretiveness. The stealth. Those were obviously the aspects of cocaine use I was addicted to.
George Carlin
