Quote

If you ask me, we could do with a little less motivation. - The people who are causing all the trouble seem highly motivated to me. - Serial killers, stock swindlers, drug dealers, Christian Republicans.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Seems
Motivation
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Littles
Drug
Dealer
Little
Republican
Causing
People
Seem
Killers
Trouble
Stock
Asks
Motivated
Swindlers
Less
Republicans
Dealers
Christian
Highly
Serial

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There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot.
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The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
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People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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Never get on an airplane if the pilot is wearing a hat that has more than three pastel colors.
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The dividend I get [from my compulsion] is the freedom to be totally disorderly in my dreamworld.
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I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea.
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I'll bet there aren't too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
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Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard
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I'm sure Hitler was great with his family.
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When people say “clean as a whistle”, they forget that a whistle is full of spit.
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I, myself, have killed six people. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. And, let me tell you, there's nothin' like it. It's a great feeling. Yeah, I know, you're thinking. 'Aw, he's a comedian. He's just sayin' that stuff.' Good. That's exactly what I want you to think.
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You never see a smiling runner.
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I never worry that all hell will break loose. My concern is that only part of hell will break loose and be much harder to detect.
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Catholic school gave me the tools to reject the very religion they wanted me to have. They taught me how to think for myself and to be independent.
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I don't have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. I think that speaks for itself. The less said about it the better.
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If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
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One of the interesting things about outsidership is that underneath it there's a longing to belong. I just wish the thing I refused to belong to - the species, Western capital culture - was a little more respectable. My one true relaxation is my flotation tank, in which I can either meditate or just drift off.
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Military cemeteries around the world are packed with brainwashed dead soldiers who were convinced God was on their side. America prays for God to destroy our enemies. Our enemies pray for God to destroy us. Somebody's gonna be disappointed! Somebody's wasting their time! Could it be.. everyone?
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I hope no one asks me to show them the ropes I have no idea where they are. Maybe I could pull some strings and find out.
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By the next one [albom],Occupation: Foole, I was right back into the trip again. I'm more frantic, more breathless. You can hear how sick I am. If you want to see a cokehead, just look at the pictures on the Occupation: Foole album.
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