Quote

Every day I break my own personal record for number of days I have been alive.

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Alive
Break
Every
Record
Number
Records
Personal
Numbers
Days

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
I try not to see new comics - their acts or their films. Part of that is professional. I don't want to be influenced. But another part is fear and jealousy. I'm afraid to see how good they might be. I don't like that emotion, but it's part of me.
George Carlin
Image
You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.
George Carlin
Image
I can remember staring at the orphanage and feeling envy.
George Carlin
Image
I believe my first duty is to survive. And I'm not just talking about criminals coming into my home. I once seriously considered getting a gun to protect myself from the police. If I need a weapon to continue living, I'll get one. And I'll use it.
George Carlin
Image
The status quo sucks.
George Carlin
Image
One time. In 1965. August, for about an hour, I was both fine AND dandy at the same time. But nobody asked me how I was.
George Carlin
Image
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
George Carlin
Image
When it comes to bullshit...bigtime, major league bullshit...you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims...religion.
George Carlin
Image
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
George Carlin
Image
Before they give you a lethal injection, they swab your arm with alcohol. It's true. Well, they don't want you to get an infection, and you can see their point. They don't want some guy go to hell and be sick.
George Carlin
Image
We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
George Carlin
Image
Catholic school gave me the tools to reject the very religion they wanted me to have. They taught me how to think for myself and to be independent.
George Carlin
Image
The secret of success is doing something you love, doing it well and being recognized for it
George Carlin
Image
War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die. It always has been.
George Carlin
Image
Ah, to be a bird. To fly the skies, sing my song, and best of all occasionally peck someone's eyes out.
George Carlin
Image
There may or may not be atheists in foxholes, but I'm certain there are none in the Ku Klux Klan.
George Carlin
Image
One of the effects it [cocaine] had on my personality - my moods, my behaviors - was that it inhibited me a lot. It kind of took possibilities out of my world, and made the focus of things very narrow.
George Carlin
Image
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
George Carlin
Image
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
George Carlin
Image
Personally, when it comes to rights, I think one of two things is true. I think either we have unlimited rights, or we have no rights at all. Personally I lean towards unlimited rights, I feel for instance I have the right to do anything I please, BUT! If I do something you don't like I think you have the right to kill me.
George Carlin