Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
There are actually people who go out and re-fight these battles. You know what I say? Use real ammunition! You just might raise the intelligence level of the American gene pool!
George Carlin
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Real
Level
Gene
People
Fight
Battles
Levels
Genes
Fighting
Pool
American
Raise
Actually
Raises
Use
Intelligence
Might
Battle
Ammunition
More quotes by George Carlin
First I was a mimic. Practically from the moment I began talking, I did impersonations of the people in my neighborhood - the storekeepers, the policemen, my teachers.
George Carlin
Hitler never bothered with restaurant reservations he just dropped by. And somehow they always found him a table.
George Carlin
There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.
George Carlin
I'm not collegial, I don't hang out. I'm soloist, I like my solitude, I don't really hang around with comedians.
George Carlin
There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people. When you drop a newspaper over a sign and walk away with it, or take something off a wall and the sound of the glue ripping makes people turn around. Your heart is racing, it's a rush.
George Carlin
People say life begins at conception, I say life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous process.
George Carlin
In the doggie dictionary, under bow wow it says, See arf arf.
George Carlin
Why do they bother saying raw sewage? Do some people actually cook that stuff?
George Carlin
There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
George Carlin
Leftovers make you feel good twice. First, when you put it away, you feel thrifty and intelligent: 'I'm saving food!' Then a month later when blue hair is growing out of the ham, and you throw it away, you feel really intelligent: 'I'm saving my life!'
George Carlin
The rebellious mood of the country during those [60th] years allowed me to plug right back into my old hatreds. I could scream and holler, as I did on the albums, against religion, government, big business - all those assholes and their values. That hatred was very real.
George Carlin
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
George Carlin
I'll bet there aren't too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
George Carlin
Your dog thinks you're a god. Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole.
George Carlin
If drumsticks are for playing drums, you would think that breadsticks would be for playing bread, wouldn't you? Would you like some breadsticks? No, thank you, I don't play bread. I play drums. Perhaps I'll have a drum roll.
George Carlin
I think tobacco and alcohol warnings are too general. They should be more to the point: 'People who smoke will eventually cough up small pieces of lung.'... And 'Warning!! Alcohol will turn you into the same jerk your father was.'
George Carlin
We get what we deserve. They are our elected officials.
George Carlin
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
George Carlin
People get all upset about torture, but when you get right down to it, it's really a pretty good way of finding out something a person doesn't want you to know.
George Carlin
Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
George Carlin
