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There are actually people who go out and re-fight these battles. You know what I say? Use real ammunition! You just might raise the intelligence level of the American gene pool!

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Fighting
Pool
American
Raise
Actually
Raises
Use
Intelligence
Might
Battle
Ammunition
Real
Level
Gene
People
Fight
Battles
Levels
Genes

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I think there's a little more attention to human needs than to property rights. But I don't think much of political activism. It's so shortsighted. Most people are interested in their own personal comfort. I've said that about environmentalists. I think they care about bike paths and places to park their Volvos, not the planet as an abstraction.
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I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.
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The status quo sucks.
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot. And although I never forgot it, I never quite memorized it either. So what I’m left with is the memory of having learned something very wise that I can’t quite remember.
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
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Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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Results like these [state of the earth] do not belong on the resumé of a supreme being.
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I quit school in ninth grade, even though I was good at the studies. I knew I didn't need school for what I wanted.
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I recently bought a book of free verse. For twelve dollars.
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I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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Sometimes when I'm told to use my own discretion, if no one is looking I'll use someone else's. But I always put it back.
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So I do have this ambivalence. Obviously I'm against militaries, because of what militaries do. In many ways though, the air force was unmilitary-like. They dropped bombs on people, but...they had a golf course.
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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?
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When it comes to bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims: religion... Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do.
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One of the interesting things about outsidership is that underneath it there's a longing to belong. I just wish the thing I refused to belong to - the species, Western capital culture - was a little more respectable. My one true relaxation is my flotation tank, in which I can either meditate or just drift off.
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One philosopher has rightly said that property is theft. But I'd like to use my future ownership of property to give something back.
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