Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Hitler never bothered with restaurant reservations he just dropped by. And somehow they always found him a table.
George Carlin
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Hitler
Restaurants
Table
Tables
Somehow
Reservations
Found
Bothered
Always
Dropped
Never
Restaurant
More quotes by George Carlin
All the wrong things for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes people just want to feel different. And so long as Third World peasants are poor they will send us drugs, and as long as we are empty we will ask for this little plant.
George Carlin
Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
George Carlin
My advice: Just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.
George Carlin
Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?
George Carlin
Self-expression is a hallmark of an artist, of art, to get something off one's chest, to sing one's song. So that element is present in all art. It is the key to even standing up and saying, Hey, listen to me. Self-expression can be based on looking at the world and making observations about it.
George Carlin
I can remember staring at the orphanage and feeling envy.
George Carlin
Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
George Carlin
Leftovers make you feel good twice. First, when you put it away, you feel thrifty and intelligent: 'I'm saving food!' Then a month later when blue hair is growing out of the ham, and you throw it away, you feel really intelligent: 'I'm saving my life!'
George Carlin
The next time a prostitute solicits your business, ask for the clergyman's rate.
George Carlin
Beethoven was so hard of hearing, he thought he was a painter.
George Carlin
You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
George Carlin
Your home is your refuge.
George Carlin
When I listen to those tapes now, the real cocaine shows there's just nothing special about their content.
George Carlin
To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.
George Carlin
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
George Carlin
When I first heard the song Don't worry - be happy I realized it was exactly the kind of mindless philosophy that Americans would respond to. It would make a great national anthem along with Me first.
George Carlin
There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot.
George Carlin
The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.
George Carlin
Life is tough, then you die.
George Carlin
Hooray for most things!
George Carlin