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Hitler never bothered with restaurant reservations he just dropped by. And somehow they always found him a table.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Always
Dropped
Never
Restaurant
Hitler
Restaurants
Table
Tables
Somehow
Reservations
Found
Bothered
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How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
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Writing is really wonderful art. A lot of this is discovery. A lot of things are lying around waiting to be discovered and that's our job as writers is to just notice them and bring them to life.
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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?
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The planet is fine. The people are f****d. Because everyone is trying to save the planet. The planet doesn’t need that. The planet will take care of itself. People are selfish. And that's what they're doing is trying to save the planet for themselves to have a nicer place to live.
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You're all going to die. I hate to remind you, but it is on your schedule. It probably won't happen when you'd like generally, it's an inconvenience.
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The enjoyment has been diminishing. Now, there's no question that it's sort of fun to get high.
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Hey! Who stole my collection of used bandages?! And they also got away with my nude pictures of Ernest Borgnine!
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I'm 63 now. But that's just 17 Celsius.
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I think tobacco and alcohol warnings are too general. They should be more to the point: 'People who smoke will eventually cough up small pieces of lung.'... And 'Warning!! Alcohol will turn you into the same jerk your father was.'
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Your dog thinks you're a god. Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole.
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Art, music, and philosophy are merely poignant examples of what we might have been had not the priests and traders gotten hold of us.
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Self-expression is a hallmark of an artist, of art, to get something off one's chest, to sing one's song. So that element is present in all art. It is the key to even standing up and saying, Hey, listen to me. Self-expression can be based on looking at the world and making observations about it.
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You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
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I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no I in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity.
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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Hallucinogens are a value changer...like it or not, it changes your values, it opens up windows (doors of perception.)
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
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It's difficult enough for a young person to put his soul on the line in front of a lot of drunken people without having that hanging over his head, too.
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I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
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