Quote

How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on television that it's a spy satellite?

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Satellite
Satellites
Announce
Spy
Television

More quotes by George Carlin

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If God is all powerful, can He make a stone so big that He Himself can't lift it?
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Know my feelings about traffic laws? Cop didn't see it? I didn't do it.
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Nothing you see on the Internet is mine unless it comes from one of my albums, books, HBO specials, or appeared on my website.
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Do you remember Barbara Bush? I call her the silver douchebag.
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The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.
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I don't have hobbies hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
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I just love it when I hear a little commotion, someone leaving. When I see those doors in the back . . .
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I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
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I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.
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When you think about it, attention-deficit order makes a lot of sense. In this country there isn't a lot worth paying attention to.
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When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke.
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Don Ho can sign autographs 3.4 times faster than Efrem Zimbalist Jr.
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In Rome, the emperor sat in a special part of the Colosseum called the Caesarian Section.
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Have you ever started a path? No one seems willing to do this. We don't mind using existing paths, but we rarely start new ones. Do it today. Start a path. Even if it doesn't lead anywhere
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The rebellious mood of the country during those [60th] years allowed me to plug right back into my old hatreds. I could scream and holler, as I did on the albums, against religion, government, big business - all those assholes and their values. That hatred was very real.
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Y'ever notice how you never seem to get laid on Thanksgiving? I think it's because all the coats are on the bed.
George Carlin
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I went to the Missing Persons Bureau but no one was there.
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I never take credit for anything, because it's mostly genetic to my way of thinking. Even the need to work hard with some genetic talent you're given - the need to go out and develop it, and push hard to bring it to people.
George Carlin
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My advice: Just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.
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I never worry that all hell will break loose. My concern is that only part of hell will break loose and be much harder to detect.
George Carlin