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How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on television that it's a spy satellite?
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Satellite
Satellites
Announce
Spy
Television
More quotes by George Carlin
You're all going to die. I hate to remind you, but it is on your schedule. It probably won't happen when you'd like generally, it's an inconvenience.
George Carlin
Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.
George Carlin
Life is a zero sum game.
George Carlin
The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
George Carlin
I've been a performer for a long time and I know when people are laughing from their guts, from the inside, and when their tuxedos are laughing.
George Carlin
I never joined the Boy Scouts. I don't trust any organization that has a handbook.
George Carlin
When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person.
George Carlin
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
George Carlin
At best, God can be viewed as nothing more than an uncaring incompetent father-figure
George Carlin
In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
George Carlin
People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can't do math. And they will readily admit to being awkward: 'I'm such a klutz!' But they will never admit to having a poor sense of humor or being a bad driver.
George Carlin
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
George Carlin
I'm 63 now. But that's just 17 Celsius.
George Carlin
Why don't they have waiters in waiting rooms?
George Carlin
Interesting form of murder we come up with: Assassination. We assassinate people who've told us to live together in harmony and try to love one another. Apparently we are not ready to live together.
George Carlin
I don't understand why prostitution is illegal, Selling is legal, f***ing is legal. So why isn't it legal to sell f***ing? Why should it be illegal to sell something that's legal to give away?
George Carlin
I just love it when I hear a little commotion, someone leaving. When I see those doors in the back . . .
George Carlin
When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
George Carlin
The women who line up at a comic's dressing-room door are not what you'd call your class groupies.
George Carlin
It's depressing to see blacks wanting to dive into the mainstream of American commercial life. They come from a magnificent African culture based on aesthetics, and they all want to become fort builders like the vicious people who originally enslaved them.
George Carlin
