Quote

How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on television that it's a spy satellite?

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Satellite
Satellites
Announce
Spy
Television

More quotes by George Carlin

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Medical researchers have discovered a new disease that has no symptoms. It is impossible to detect, and there is no known cure. Fortunately, no cases have been reported thus far.
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Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I’ve stayed alive.
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Never let the brain idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’ And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.
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When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke.
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It is impossible for an abortion clinic to have a waiting list of more than nine months.
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They're only words. You can't be afraid of words that speak the truth, even if it's an unpleasant truth.
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Why do 'slow down' and 'slow up' mean the same thing? Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
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There is nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine ... been here 4 1/2 billion years. We've been here, what, a 100,000 years, maybe 200,000. And we've only been engaged in heavy industry a little over 200 years. 200 years versus 4 1/2 billion. And we have the conceit to think that somehow we're a threat? The planet isn't going away. We are.
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A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
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If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
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Why don't they have waiters in waiting rooms?
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When I listen to those tapes now, the real cocaine shows there's just nothing special about their content.
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The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
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I can remember staring at the orphanage and feeling envy.
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The highly motivated people in society are the ones causing all the trouble. It's not the lazy unmotivated folks sitting in front of a TV eating potato chips who bother anyone.
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What exactly is 'viewer discretion'? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air.
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Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.
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Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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You're all going to die. I hate to remind you, but it is on your schedule. It probably won't happen when you'd like generally, it's an inconvenience.
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Everyone smiles in the same language.
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