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How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on television that it's a spy satellite?

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Satellite
Satellites
Announce
Spy
Television

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Your dog thinks you're a god. Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole.
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I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
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Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
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Dogs and cats get put to sleep hogs and cows get slaughtered.
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By the next one [albom],Occupation: Foole, I was right back into the trip again. I'm more frantic, more breathless. You can hear how sick I am. If you want to see a cokehead, just look at the pictures on the Occupation: Foole album.
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The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is.
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War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die. It always has been.
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There are an awful lot of things in the cut of street drugs that eventually make you sick. I reached a point where the skin around the edges of my fingernails used to hurt all the time. And it would peel away easily. Now, that must have been from some poison in the cut.
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The phrase surgical strike might be more acceptable if it were common practice to perform surgery with high explosives.
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If you nail a tool shed closed, how do you put the hammer away?
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It was the typical paranoid experience [to hide coke]. As soon as I knew my hiding place, I thought the whole world knew it. I'd write clues to my hiding places in code, then forget the code and spend the rest of the day looking for my coke.
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I just try to find targets I feel something about and express it my way.
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I, myself, have killed six people. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. And, let me tell you, there's nothin' like it. It's a great feeling. Yeah, I know, you're thinking. 'Aw, he's a comedian. He's just sayin' that stuff.' Good. That's exactly what I want you to think.
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Why do 'slow down' and 'slow up' mean the same thing? Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
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The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
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We think in language. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language.
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How old are you? 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.
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