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How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on television that it's a spy satellite?
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Satellite
Satellites
Announce
Spy
Television
More quotes by George Carlin
I think I am, therefore, I am... I think.
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When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
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We spend the early years feeding our brains with information and the latter half trying not to think about it all.
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There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot.
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Surround yourself with what you love.
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I hope no one asks me to show them the ropes I have no idea where they are. Maybe I could pull some strings and find out.
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Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
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People who ask Can I ask you a question? Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?
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I was a hip kid. When I saw Bambi it was the midnight show.
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Give now. Somewhere, someone feels crappy. You can help.
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We created god in our own image and likeness!
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More people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason.
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Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
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I don't consider myself a cynic. I think of myself as a skeptic and a realist. But I understand the word cynic has more than one meaning, and I see how I could be seen as cynical. George, you're cynical. Well, you know, they say if you scratch a cynic you find a disappointed idealist. And perhaps the flame still flickers a little, you know
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Sometimes when I'm told to use my own discretion, if no one is looking I'll use someone else's. But I always put it back.
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No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
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I'm not collegial, I don't hang out. I'm soloist, I like my solitude, I don't really hang around with comedians.
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Don't confuse my point of view with cynicism. The real cynics are the ones who tell you that everything's gonna be all right.
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The planet isn't going anywhere. We are.
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I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it.
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