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A crazy person doesn't really lose his mind. It just becomes something more entertaining.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Doesn
Persons
Person
Mind
Entertaining
Something
Lose
Really
Becomes
Loses
Crazy
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What wine goes with Captain Crunch?
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When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
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I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
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If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
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I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.
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On the other hand, pot opens windows and doors that you may not be able to get through any other way.
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All messages from Satan are played forward and are in standard American English.
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People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.
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I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
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Fussy eater is a euphemism for big pain in the ass.
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Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
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The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is.
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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
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There's this man who lives in the sky, and he has ten things he doesn't want you to do, and you'll burn for a long time if you do them. But he loves you.
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There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment.
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Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
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I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.
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As powerful as anyone may claim God to be, somehow he always needs money.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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