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A crazy person doesn't really lose his mind. It just becomes something more entertaining.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Really
Becomes
Loses
Crazy
Doesn
Persons
Person
Mind
Entertaining
Something
Lose
More quotes by George Carlin
You're all going to die. I hate to remind you, but it is on your schedule. It probably won't happen when you'd like generally, it's an inconvenience.
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The Human Species could have been great but instead we became satisfied with lights on our tennis shoes.
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You know who would make an interesting murder-suicide? Madeline Albright and Yanni.
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When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person.
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In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
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People say life begins at conception, I say life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous process.
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Things I wonder about the FBI's list of the Ten Most Wanted criminals: When they catch a guy and he comes off the list, does number eleven automatically move up? And does he see it as a promotion? Does he call his criminal friends and say, I made it, Bruno. I'm finally on the list?
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When you think about it, 12:15 P.M. is actually 11:75 A.M.
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The secretiveness. The stealth. Those were obviously the aspects of cocaine use I was addicted to.
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Every day I break my own personal record for number of days I have been alive.
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Give now. Somewhere, someone feels crappy. You can help.
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Running isn't a sport because anyone can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run, you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated do you?
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Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive because we've given them too much money.
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A pear is a failed apple.
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I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
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I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
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No one is more himself than the moment when he's laughing at a joke. It's at those moments that people's defenses go down, and that's when you can slip in a good idea.
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People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.
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It's legal for men to be floorwalkers and illegal for women to be streetwalkers.
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