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A crazy person doesn't really lose his mind. It just becomes something more entertaining.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Loses
Crazy
Doesn
Persons
Person
Entertaining
Mind
Lose
Something
Really
Becomes

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I try not to see new comics - their acts or their films. Part of that is professional. I don't want to be influenced. But another part is fear and jealousy. I'm afraid to see how good they might be. I don't like that emotion, but it's part of me.
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Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
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Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain, For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain. America, America, man sheds his waste on thee, And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea.
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Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.
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What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
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The straightest line between a straight distance is two points.
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Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
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The enjoyment has been diminishing. Now, there's no question that it's sort of fun to get high.
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President George Bush declared a National Day of Prayer for Peace. This was after he had carefully arranged and started the war.
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I never take credit for anything, because it's mostly genetic to my way of thinking. Even the need to work hard with some genetic talent you're given - the need to go out and develop it, and push hard to bring it to people.
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You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.
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I was a stonehead for 30 years. I'd wake up in the morning and if I couldn't decide whether I wanted a joint or not, I'd smoke a joint to figure it out. And I stayed high all day long.
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Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.
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The ritual was very important to me: cleaning the pot, rolling the pot.
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We spend the early years feeding our brains with information and the latter half trying not to think about it all.
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They say if you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns. Well, those are precisely the people who need them!
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Sometimes when I'm told to use my own discretion, if no one is looking I'll use someone else's. But I always put it back.
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Before they give you a lethal injection, they swab your arm with alcohol. It's true. Well, they don't want you to get an infection, and you can see their point. They don't want some guy go to hell and be sick.
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I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. But I'm not in a league with Lenny [Bruce], certainly not in terms of social commentary.
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They [the Reagan Administration] want to put street criminals in jail to make life safer for the business criminals. They're against street crime, providing that street isn't Wall Street.
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