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A crazy person doesn't really lose his mind. It just becomes something more entertaining.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Person
Mind
Entertaining
Something
Lose
Really
Becomes
Loses
Crazy
Doesn
Persons

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Religion is a self-conferred intellectual decision it's not something you get at birth and is unchangeable. You're collusive with the religion when you accept it you have a choice.
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I call him Governor Bush because that's the only political office he's ever held legally in this country. I don't care where they hang his portrait, I don't care how big his library is. To me, he'll always be Governor Bush. I don't even capitalize his name when I type it anymore.
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My advice: Just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.
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I'm 63 now. But that's just 17 Celsius.
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In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! - I hope I'll be safe at home!
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Don't confuse my point of view with cynicism. The real cynics are the ones who tell you that everything's gonna be all right.
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I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. But I'm not in a league with Lenny [Bruce], certainly not in terms of social commentary.
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By the age of six or seven, I was already doing voices and faces, making my friends and my mother laugh.
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Does killing time damage eternity?
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My left descending septal branch artery decided to close without consultation with any of my other organs. It happened on Saint Patrick's Day, 1978.
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How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.
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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
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There may or may not be atheists in foxholes, but I'm certain there are none in the Ku Klux Klan.
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First I was a mimic. Practically from the moment I began talking, I did impersonations of the people in my neighborhood - the storekeepers, the policemen, my teachers.
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I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.
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There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people. When you drop a newspaper over a sign and walk away with it, or take something off a wall and the sound of the glue ripping makes people turn around. Your heart is racing, it's a rush.
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Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
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The women who line up at a comic's dressing-room door are not what you'd call your class groupies.
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I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. [And] I want to be known for what I do best.
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You never see a smiling runner.
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