Quote

The US Army has announced that although it is true they performed mind-destroying drug tests on hundreds of soldiers in the 1960s, none of the victims have been promoted beyond the rank of lieutenant colonel.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Beyond
Destroying
Colonels
True
Soldier
Promoted
Mind
Victim
Announced
Tests
Rank
Although
Performed
Army
Victims
Lieutenant
None
Soldiers
Lieutenants
Drug
Hundreds
Colonel

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The Human Species could have been great but instead we became satisfied with lights on our tennis shoes.
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A dog has no shame. If he can do it, you can watch.
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Self-expression is a hallmark of an artist, of art, to get something off one's chest, to sing one's song. So that element is present in all art. It is the key to even standing up and saying, Hey, listen to me. Self-expression can be based on looking at the world and making observations about it.
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I find that an entertainer is quite content to sit still, and I think an artist always has a little motion, always going somewhere. May not know where it is, but there is some sort of unnamed destination. There is some pulling, some movement. So I just found myself in that category according to my own analysis.
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Golf is an arrogant, elitist game that takes up entirely too much space in this country.
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I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
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Results like these [state of the earth] do not belong on the resumé of a supreme being.
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If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? Why is 'phonics' not spelled the way it sounds? How come abbreviated is such a long word?
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By the age of six or seven, I was already doing voices and faces, making my friends and my mother laugh.
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Praying is begging for an unseen deity to alter the laws of nature for someone admittedly unworthy.
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In the 'bullshit department' a businessman can't hold a candle to a clergyman.
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot. And although I never forgot it, I never quite memorized it either. So what I’m left with is the memory of having learned something very wise that I can’t quite remember.
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You show me a tropical fruit and I'll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala.
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