Quote

The US Army has announced that although it is true they performed mind-destroying drug tests on hundreds of soldiers in the 1960s, none of the victims have been promoted beyond the rank of lieutenant colonel.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
None
Soldiers
Lieutenants
Drug
Hundreds
Colonel
Beyond
Destroying
Colonels
True
Soldier
Promoted
Mind
Victim
Announced
Tests
Rank
Although
Performed
Army
Victims
Lieutenant

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Property is theft. Nobody owns anything. When you die, it all stays here.
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One of the first things they teach you in Driver's Ed is where to put your hands on the steering wheel. They tell you put 'em at ten o'clock and two o' clock. Never mind that . I put mine at 9:45 and 2:17. Gives me an extra half hour to get where I'm goin'.
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I can remember staring at the orphanage and feeling envy.
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If you nail a tool shed closed, how do you put the hammer away?
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I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.
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When I listen to those tapes now, the real cocaine shows there's just nothing special about their content.
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My money buys me the freedom not to be a member of the corporate structure. And I certainly don't feel guilty or hypocritical about that. The way our economy is set up, if you don't want to be a corporate moron and you don't want to be enfeebled in the streets, you must earn enough to know that you'll never have to go to them for money.
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The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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I'm 63 now. But that's just 17 Celsius.
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I always wanted and enjoyed sex, but I never put much importance on scoring or having an athletic sex life. I guess I define myself more by my career and my commitment to a relationship than by my ability to have a lot of chicks or achieve ten orgasms in an evening.
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When you think about it, attention-deficit order makes a lot of sense. In this country there isn't a lot worth paying attention to.
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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There may or may not be atheists in foxholes, but I'm certain there are none in the Ku Klux Klan.
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