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We think in language. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Language
Ideas
Good
Think
Thinking
Thoughts
Quality

More quotes by George Carlin

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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
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I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.
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If you have a legal problem, guess how you determine whether or not you need a lawyer. You see a lawyer. Isn't that weird?
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It's a keep your fingers crossed business, the entertainment business.
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Children are not our future, and I can prove it with my usual, flawless logic. Children can't be our future, because by the time the future arrives, they won't be children anymore, so blow me!
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Tits always look better in a pink sweater.
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When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jack-boots. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Germany lost the Second World War. Fascism won it. Believe me, my friend.
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I think I am, therefore, I am... I think.
George Carlin
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You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
George Carlin
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Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
George Carlin
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The child molester skipped breakfast, but said he'd grab a little something on the way to work.
George Carlin
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Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.
George Carlin
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If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.
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When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.
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Religion is just mind control.
George Carlin
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I do something about the weather. I stay home.
George Carlin
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Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.
George Carlin
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I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes
George Carlin
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When it comes to bullshit...bigtime, major league bullshit...you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims...religion.
George Carlin
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Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior Mints?
George Carlin