Quote

I'm not collegial, I don't hang out. I'm soloist, I like my solitude, I don't really hang around with comedians.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Comedian
Solitude
Around
Really
Like
Collegial
Soloist
Comedians
Hang

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There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It seems only right. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' These days, Trajedi.
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Do you remember Barbara Bush? I call her the silver douchebag.
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You take 5 white guys and you take 5 black guys and put em together for a week and what you won't have is 5 blacks guys talking like, 'Golly gee, we really won that big basketball game' but you will have 5 white guys talking like 'Yo slick, whuzzup...we be shootin hoops and mad playin, slammed those mofos
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Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.
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Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.
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I'm 60 years of age. That's 16 Celsius.
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All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another
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We think in language. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language.
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Hitler never bothered with restaurant reservations he just dropped by. And somehow they always found him a table.
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We get what we deserve. They are our elected officials.
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
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No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.
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Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
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The mayfly lives only one day. And sometimes it rains.
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If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.
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I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
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How old are you? 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.
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To my surprise, my marijuana use has been tapering off steadily.
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Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.
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