Quote

I'm not collegial, I don't hang out. I'm soloist, I like my solitude, I don't really hang around with comedians.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Comedians
Hang
Comedian
Solitude
Around
Really
Like
Collegial
Soloist

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I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to.
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Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
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Tits always look better in a pink sweater.
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For an entertainer, part of the thing you do is just style. And the coke did help me get into great runs of pure form.
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So I do have this ambivalence. Obviously I'm against militaries, because of what militaries do. In many ways though, the air force was unmilitary-like. They dropped bombs on people, but...they had a golf course.
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Do you know the nicest thing about looking at pictures of a 1950's baseball park? The only people wearing baseball caps are the players.
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When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
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The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.
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It is said that Indians were sometimes named for the first thing they saw when they were born. Makes you wonder why there aren't more Indians named Hairy Pussy, doesn't it?
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The women who line up at a comic's dressing-room door are not what you'd call your class groupies.
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Environmentalists changed the word jungle to rain forest, because no one would give them money to save a jungle. Same with swamps and wetlands.
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A crazy person doesn't really lose his mind. It just becomes something more entertaining.
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Religion has what is EASILY the greatest bullshit story of all time.
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But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
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Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
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Why should it be illegal to sell something that's perfectly legal to give away?
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Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
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Here's a phrase that apparently the airlines simply made up: near miss. They say that if 2 planes almost collide, it's a near miss. Bullshit, my friend. It's a near hit! A collision is a near miss. [WHAM! CRUNCH!] Look, they nearly missed! Yes, but not quite.
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It was the typical paranoid experience [to hide coke]. As soon as I knew my hiding place, I thought the whole world knew it. I'd write clues to my hiding places in code, then forget the code and spend the rest of the day looking for my coke.
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