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People have material needs, but you don't need a deodorant for every different day of the week. You don't need four hundred varieties of mustard. This is what I call too many choices. There are too many choices in America.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
America
Variety
Need
Material
Many
Materials
Different
Hundred
Needs
Week
Every
Choices
Deodorant
People
Four
Varieties
Call
Mustard
More quotes by George Carlin
Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin' ready to hang himself.
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If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.
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Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.
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You know what I like about the American form of government? They've worked things out so that you're never far from a 7-Eleven.
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We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life, not life to years.
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I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.
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Catholics are against abortions. Catholics are against homosexuals. But, I can't think of anyone who has less abortions than homosexuals!
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Why do they bother saying raw sewage? Do some people actually cook that stuff?
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I did a lot of thinking, and used mental activity to relieve whatever feelings I had. I became very left-brained, and I was good in school. That is, I was a smart kid.
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When he got loaded, the human cannonball knew there were not many men of his caliber.
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We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
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Why do 'slow down' and 'slow up' mean the same thing? Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
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What year did Jesus think it was?
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I'll bet there aren't too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
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I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
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Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
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When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
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Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.
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Your home is your refuge.
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If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.
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