Quote

When you quit school at an early age, I think you have a lifelong need to show the world - and maybe yourself - that you're really smart after all.

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Think
Maybe
Thinking
Age
World
Show
Shows
Lifelong
School
Quit
Need
Quitting
Needs
Smart
Really
Early

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it.
George Carlin
Image
There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot.
George Carlin
Image
If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.
George Carlin
Image
I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.
George Carlin
Image
The secretiveness. The stealth. Those were obviously the aspects of cocaine use I was addicted to.
George Carlin
Image
Things I wonder about the FBI's list of the Ten Most Wanted criminals: When they catch a guy and he comes off the list, does number eleven automatically move up? And does he see it as a promotion? Does he call his criminal friends and say, I made it, Bruno. I'm finally on the list?
George Carlin
Image
There are battered husbands. Apparently this happens when the woman is real big, the man is very small, and they each drink a quart of whiskey a day.
George Carlin
Image
When you're born in this world you're given a ticket to the Freak Show. And when you're born in America, you're given a front row seat. And some of us get to sit there with notebooks.
George Carlin
Image
The straightest line between a straight distance is two points.
George Carlin
Image
One of the first things they teach you in Driver's Ed is where to put your hands on the steering wheel. They tell you put 'em at ten o'clock and two o' clock. Never mind that . I put mine at 9:45 and 2:17. Gives me an extra half hour to get where I'm goin'.
George Carlin
Image
By elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
George Carlin
Image
All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another
George Carlin
Image
Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking
George Carlin
Image
You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.
George Carlin
Image
Children are not our future, and I can prove it with my usual, flawless logic. Children can't be our future, because by the time the future arrives, they won't be children anymore, so blow me!
George Carlin
Image
It seems to me like a perversion of talent for an artist of any kind to further the corporate structure of America or the personal interests of the morons and thieves who run it.
George Carlin
Image
The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
George Carlin
Image
There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting!
George Carlin
Image
You know who would make an interesting murder-suicide? Madeline Albright and Yanni.
George Carlin
Image
It's harder to be funny from the position of power.
George Carlin