Quote

When you quit school at an early age, I think you have a lifelong need to show the world - and maybe yourself - that you're really smart after all.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Needs
Smart
Really
Early
Think
Maybe
Thinking
Age
World
Show
Shows
Lifelong
School
Quit
Need
Quitting

More quotes by George Carlin

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People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can't do math. And they will readily admit to being awkward: 'I'm such a klutz!' But they will never admit to having a poor sense of humor or being a bad driver.
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You know what I like about the American form of government? They've worked things out so that you're never far from a 7-Eleven.
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Some people think that words can injure the psyche or the moral fiber. And they really can't.
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Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense!
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I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
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The more complicated the order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee, half soy, half lowfat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet,' ooooh, you're a huge asshole.
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I never worry that all hell will break loose. My concern is that only part of hell will break loose and be much harder to detect.
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If the shoe fits, buy another one just like it.
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It's all bullshit, folks and it's bad for ya.
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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
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What wine goes with Captain Crunch?
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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You show me a tropical fruit and I'll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala.
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Sometimes when I'm told to use my own discretion, if no one is looking I'll use someone else's. But I always put it back.
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Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game. Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.
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My mother and her plans for my future. She had it all worked out. I would attend a nice college, then get a job in advertising. You'll be one of those smart-looking fellows in their Madison Avenue suits. And I rebelled against [my mother] and her values and her plans for my future at every opportunity.
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Why do they bother saying raw sewage? Do some people actually cook that stuff?
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When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jack-boots. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Germany lost the Second World War. Fascism won it. Believe me, my friend.
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Life is a series of dogs.
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