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I never take credit for anything, because it's mostly genetic to my way of thinking. Even the need to work hard with some genetic talent you're given - the need to go out and develop it, and push hard to bring it to people.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
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Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
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More quotes by George Carlin
I don't consider myself a cynic. I think of myself as a skeptic and a realist. But I understand the word cynic has more than one meaning, and I see how I could be seen as cynical. George, you're cynical. Well, you know, they say if you scratch a cynic you find a disappointed idealist. And perhaps the flame still flickers a little, you know
George Carlin
You wouldn't know it, from some of the things I've said over the years, but I like people. I do. I like people, but I like them in short bursts. I don't like people for extended periods of time. I'm all right with them for a little while, but once you get up past around... a minute, minute and a half, I gotta get the fuck out of there.
George Carlin
I say things that can be defined as prayers. But I don't pray to a power or ask an entity to intercede in the earthly scheme, because I don't believe that happens. But if I see a really unfortunate person in the street, I do pray, yes, though I suppose it's really more like a mantra to ease my own sorrow.
George Carlin
Every time you use the phrase all my life it has a different meaning.
George Carlin
Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it.
George Carlin
Writing books isn't a drastic departure from writing for the stage.
George Carlin
It's depressing to see blacks wanting to dive into the mainstream of American commercial life. They come from a magnificent African culture based on aesthetics, and they all want to become fort builders like the vicious people who originally enslaved them.
George Carlin
I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
George Carlin
Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.
George Carlin
When you're born in this world you're given a ticket to the Freak Show. And when you're born in America, you're given a front row seat. And some of us get to sit there with notebooks.
George Carlin
Hitler never bothered with restaurant reservations he just dropped by. And somehow they always found him a table.
George Carlin
How come when it's us, it's an abortion, and when it's a chicken, it's an omelette? Are we so much better than chickens all of a sudden? When did this happen that we passed chickens in goodness? Name six ways we're better than chickens. See, nobody can do it! You know why? 'Cause chickens are decent people.
George Carlin
You live eighty years, and at best you get about six minutes of pure magic.
George Carlin
Everyone smiles in the same language.
George Carlin
Suppose I could shoot myself in the mouth, but what if I miss? People will laugh at me.
George Carlin
I don't get all choked up about yellow ribbons and American flags. I see them as symbols, and I leave them to the symbol-minded.
George Carlin
Never let the brain idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’ And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.
George Carlin
If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.
George Carlin
No one is ever more him/herself than when they really laugh. Their defenses are down. It's very Zen-like, that moment. They are completely open.
George Carlin
I'm 63 now. But that's just 17 Celsius.
George Carlin