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I quit school in ninth grade, even though I was good at the studies. I knew I didn't need school for what I wanted.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Good
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Ninth
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School
Studies
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Quit
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Quitting
Even
Study

More quotes by George Carlin

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Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
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One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you're too tired.
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Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.
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Nothing rectifies out-of-control market failures like a healthy dose of government intervention and mountains of bureaucracy.
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I simply decided that dope wasn't worth the ritual.
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Things I wonder about the FBI's list of the Ten Most Wanted criminals: When they catch a guy and he comes off the list, does number eleven automatically move up? And does he see it as a promotion? Does he call his criminal friends and say, I made it, Bruno. I'm finally on the list?
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Put two things together which have never been put together before, and some schmuck will buy it.
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The New Testament is not new anymore' it's thousands of years old. It's time to start calling it the Less Old Testament.
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If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
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The Class Clown album was done totally sober. I'd realized what a hell I'd made for myself and I cleaned up completely for three months. You can hear the clarity of my thinking and of my speech on that album.
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Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.
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If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.
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I should think it takes a fairly low intellect to draw pleasure from the following activity: hitting a ball with a crooked stick. and then walking after it! An then ..hitting it again!
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In most polls there are always about 5 percent of the people who 'don't know.' What isn't generally understood is that it's the same people in every poll.
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No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
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In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
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How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on television that it's a spy satellite?
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If the cops didn't see it, I didn't do it!
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It's a keep your fingers crossed business, the entertainment business.
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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
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