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If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Funny
Synchronized
Drowns
Swimmer
Drown
Humor
Rest

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Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away.
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Why should it be illegal to sell something that's perfectly legal to give away?
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Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.
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If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.
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How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.
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People say life begins at conception, I say life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous process.
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I don't like the phrase shock value. Surprise is essential in comedy, and if people are shocked by what I consider merely surprising, then that's their shock. But there is no joke without surprise.
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Besides the drugs and counterculture, I started talking about myself, which is the first thing you do when you are a writer.
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Running isn't a sport because anyone can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run, you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated do you?
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I went to the Missing Persons Bureau but no one was there.
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We get what we deserve. They are our elected officials.
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I was a hip kid. When I saw Bambi it was the midnight show.
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So I do have this ambivalence. Obviously I'm against militaries, because of what militaries do. In many ways though, the air force was unmilitary-like. They dropped bombs on people, but...they had a golf course.
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Golf is an arrogant, elitist game that takes up entirely too much space in this country.
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If God didn't want you to masturbate, he would have given you short arms.
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If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.
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I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.
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Know my feelings about traffic laws? Cop didn't see it? I didn't do it.
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How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
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At best, God can be viewed as nothing more than an uncaring incompetent father-figure
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