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Why don't they have waiters in waiting rooms?

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Waiter
Humor
Rooms
Waiting
Funny
Waiters

More quotes by George Carlin

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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers.. but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. Because you have the illusion of choice!
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I call him Governor Bush because that's the only political office he's ever held legally in this country. I don't care where they hang his portrait, I don't care how big his library is. To me, he'll always be Governor Bush. I don't even capitalize his name when I type it anymore.
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When you quit school at an early age, I think you have a lifelong need to show the world - and maybe yourself - that you're really smart after all.
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hard work is a misleading term. physical effort & long hours do not constitute hard work. hard work is when someone pays you to do something you'd rather not be doing. anytime you'd rather be doing something other than the thing you're doing...you're doing hard work.
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Tits always look better in a pink sweater.
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Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
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The mayfly lives only one day. And sometimes it rains.
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There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting!
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Why do they bother saying raw sewage? Do some people actually cook that stuff?
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The keys to America: The cross, the brew, the dollar, and the gun.
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I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.
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There was about a two-year period at the end of the '60s, when I realized I was in the wrong place and entertaining the wrong people with the wrong material and that I was not being true to myself. I went through a metamorphosis into something more authentic for me, a more authentic stage voice and writing voice.
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People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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We get what we deserve. They are our elected officials.
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They say if you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns. Well, those are precisely the people who need them!
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One philosopher has rightly said that property is theft. But I'd like to use my future ownership of property to give something back.
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My advice: Just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.
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Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.
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