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They say if you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns. Well, those are precisely the people who need them!
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Wells
Well
Outlaws
Need
Outlaw
Needs
Guns
People
Precisely
Gun
Humor
Funny
More quotes by George Carlin
More people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason.
George Carlin
I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no I in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity.
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I don't have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. I think that speaks for itself. The less said about it the better.
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Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways? Just to be silly!
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Baby boomers helped me a great deal in my career. They launched me. They were there for me to sing my song to. And I'm not saying I'm better than anyone, but I think they turned that anti-authority baby boom mentality into their own enemy. Now I identify very closely with their children.
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Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
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Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it.
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Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!
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Y'ever notice how you never seem to get laid on Thanksgiving? I think it's because all the coats are on the bed.
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People who ask Can I ask you a question? Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?
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If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.
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President George Bush declared a National Day of Prayer for Peace. This was after he had carefully arranged and started the war.
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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
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Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky.
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What exactly is 'viewer discretion'? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air.
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I've been a performer for a long time and I know when people are laughing from their guts, from the inside, and when their tuxedos are laughing.
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The status quo sucks.
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If the reason for climbing Mt. Everest is that it's hard to do, why does everyone go up the easy side?
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When you quit school at an early age, I think you have a lifelong need to show the world - and maybe yourself - that you're really smart after all.
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