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If drumsticks are for playing drums, you would think that breadsticks would be for playing bread, wouldn't you? Would you like some breadsticks? No, thank you, I don't play bread. I play drums. Perhaps I'll have a drum roll.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Would
Thank
Think
Bread
Thinking
Wouldn
Like
Perhaps
Humor
Drumsticks
Playing
Drum
Funny
Drums
Play
Roll
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We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
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How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.
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Self-expression is a hallmark of an artist, of art, to get something off one's chest, to sing one's song. So that element is present in all art. It is the key to even standing up and saying, Hey, listen to me. Self-expression can be based on looking at the world and making observations about it.
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Whenever you see the word cuisine used instead of the word food, be prepared to pay an additional eighty percent.
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If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
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Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
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Sometimes, when I was really loaded, I'd sit on the floor and sort out every nut and bolt in the house. It was just sheer insanity. And often there'd be speed in the cut, so I was a speed freak, too.
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We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing
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It is impossible for an abortion clinic to have a waiting list of more than nine months.
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Nothing you see on the Internet is mine unless it comes from one of my albums, books, HBO specials, or appeared on my website.
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There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.
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Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
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