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If drumsticks are for playing drums, you would think that breadsticks would be for playing bread, wouldn't you? Would you like some breadsticks? No, thank you, I don't play bread. I play drums. Perhaps I'll have a drum roll.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Playing
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Drums
Play
Roll
Would
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Think
Bread
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Wouldn
Like
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Humor
Drumsticks
More quotes by George Carlin
So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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There was a built-in audience for the rebel in me that had been all along not expressing himself.
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They're only words. You can't be afraid of words that speak the truth, even if it's an unpleasant truth.
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Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
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The dividend I get [from my compulsion] is the freedom to be totally disorderly in my dreamworld.
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They say if you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns. Well, those are precisely the people who need them!
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We think in language. We think in words. Language is the landscape of thought.
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Language always gives you away.
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Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.
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Thall shall keep thy religion to thy selves.
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What do dogs do on their day off? Can't lie around – that's their job!
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At best, God can be viewed as nothing more than an uncaring incompetent father-figure
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In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
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If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
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People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can't do math. And they will readily admit to being awkward: 'I'm such a klutz!' But they will never admit to having a poor sense of humor or being a bad driver.
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