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We [americans] are not a freedom-loving people in the beautiful, spiritual sense. We have an inspiring Constitution, but we're a hardhearted people.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Inspiring
Constitution
Americans
Freedom
Spiritual
Sense
Beautiful
People
Loving

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I think it keeps the child alive in me. There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people.
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It's a keep your fingers crossed business, the entertainment business.
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I simply decided that dope wasn't worth the ritual.
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When you think about it, attention-deficit order makes a lot of sense. In this country there isn't a lot worth paying attention to.
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A crazy person doesn't really lose his mind. It just becomes something more entertaining.
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I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.
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For a long time, I've distinguished between entertainer and performer and entertainer and artist. To me, an entertainer is someone who pleases others, and an artist tries to please himself.
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Do you know the nicest thing about looking at pictures of a 1950's baseball park? The only people wearing baseball caps are the players.
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Personally, emotionally, I'd rather divorce myself from the world than face the heartbreak of partial success. Because partial success implies overwhelming failure.
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I think self-expression is present at all times, and whether or not you're talking about the outside world or your responses to it depends on the moment and the subject.
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I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.
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At 68 I'm every age I ever was. I always think of that. I'm not just 68. I'm also 55 and 21 and three. Oh especially three.
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I hope I'm beginning a new cycle of energy and creativity. If so, it'll really be my third career. The first was as a straight comic in the Sixties. The second was as a counterculture performer in the Seventies. The third will be...well, that's for others to judge.
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Religion has what is EASILY the greatest bullshit story of all time.
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The whole problem with the world today: private property. If no one owned anything, it would be a lot better. There's even an entire industry devoted to keeping an eye on other people's stuff. This is how stupid it's got. If you decide to get rid of a lot of your stuff, you can give it to a thrift shop or to Goodwill.
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Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard
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When you think about it, 12:15 P.M. is actually 11:75 A.M.
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We kind of shape our truths as we speak them. We fashion things to suit the occasion or the person or our own needs in the moment.
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If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? Why is 'phonics' not spelled the way it sounds? How come abbreviated is such a long word?
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Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense!
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