Quote

Personally, emotionally, I'd rather divorce myself from the world than face the heartbreak of partial success. Because partial success implies overwhelming failure.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Heart
Overwhelming
World
Divorce
Personally
Failure
Face
Partial
Rather
Heartbreak
Faces
Implies
Success
Emotionally

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By the age of six or seven, I was already doing voices and faces, making my friends and my mother laugh.
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People have material needs, but you don't need a deodorant for every different day of the week. You don't need four hundred varieties of mustard. This is what I call too many choices. There are too many choices in America.
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We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
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It is impossible for an abortion clinic to have a waiting list of more than nine months.
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No one is ever more him/herself than when they really laugh. Their defenses are down. It's very Zen-like, that moment. They are completely open.
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What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
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I sort of gave up on this whole human adventure a long time ago, divorced myself from it emotionally. It gives me an artistic detachment that I find valuable. I think the human race has squandered its gift, and I think this country has squandered its promise, for the sake of cell phones and Jet Skis.
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You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
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On Thanksgiving, you realize you're living in a modern world. Millions of turkeys baste themselves in millions of ovens that clean themselves.
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Hallucinogens are a value changer...like it or not, it changes your values, it opens up windows (doors of perception.)
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We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing
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The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
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You wouldn't know it, from some of the things I've said over the years, but I like people. I do. I like people, but I like them in short bursts. I don't like people for extended periods of time. I'm all right with them for a little while, but once you get up past around... a minute, minute and a half, I gotta get the fuck out of there.
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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it?
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Pacifism is a nice idea but it can get you killed. We're not there yet. Evolution is slow, small pox is fast.
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It's depressing to see blacks wanting to dive into the mainstream of American commercial life. They come from a magnificent African culture based on aesthetics, and they all want to become fort builders like the vicious people who originally enslaved them.
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You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
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Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior Mints?
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Suppose I could shoot myself in the mouth, but what if I miss? People will laugh at me.
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It's harder to be funny from the position of power.
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