Quote

Personally, emotionally, I'd rather divorce myself from the world than face the heartbreak of partial success. Because partial success implies overwhelming failure.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Heart
Overwhelming
World
Divorce
Personally
Failure
Face
Partial
Rather
Heartbreak
Faces
Implies
Success
Emotionally

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It is said that Indians were sometimes named for the first thing they saw when they were born. Makes you wonder why there aren't more Indians named Hairy Pussy, doesn't it?
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I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
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Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.
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I kind of like it when a lot of people die, and on the other hand I always wonder how many unused frequent-flier miles they had.
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I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes
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I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.
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People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can't do math. And they will readily admit to being awkward: 'I'm such a klutz!' But they will never admit to having a poor sense of humor or being a bad driver.
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I think self-expression is present at all times, and whether or not you're talking about the outside world or your responses to it depends on the moment and the subject.
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You show me a tropical fruit and I'll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala.
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I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. Tell them what you've painted is wet, they have to touch it to believe.
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Hooray for most things!
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The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
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Leftovers make you feel good twice. First, when you put it away, you feel thrifty and intelligent: 'I'm saving food!' Then a month later when blue hair is growing out of the ham, and you throw it away, you feel really intelligent: 'I'm saving my life!'
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Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky.
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For a long time, I've distinguished between entertainer and performer and entertainer and artist. To me, an entertainer is someone who pleases others, and an artist tries to please himself.
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I simply decided that dope wasn't worth the ritual.
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To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.
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When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke.
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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