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I've been a performer for a long time and I know when people are laughing from their guts, from the inside, and when their tuxedos are laughing.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Time
People
Tuxedos
Performer
Performers
Guts
Laughing
Inside
Long

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Rhetoric paints with a broad brush.
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I'm certainly a skeptic. I always quibble with people.
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If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.
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What exactly is 'viewer discretion'? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air.
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No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.
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All the wrong things for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes people just want to feel different. And so long as Third World peasants are poor they will send us drugs, and as long as we are empty we will ask for this little plant.
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I'm 63 now. But that's just 17 Celsius.
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My mother and her plans for my future. She had it all worked out. I would attend a nice college, then get a job in advertising. You'll be one of those smart-looking fellows in their Madison Avenue suits. And I rebelled against [my mother] and her values and her plans for my future at every opportunity.
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Some people try to get out of jury duty by lying. You don't have to lie. Tell the judge the truth. Tell him you'd make a terrific juror because you can spot guilty people.
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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
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hard work is a misleading term. physical effort & long hours do not constitute hard work. hard work is when someone pays you to do something you'd rather not be doing. anytime you'd rather be doing something other than the thing you're doing...you're doing hard work.
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One of the effects it [cocaine] had on my personality - my moods, my behaviors - was that it inhibited me a lot. It kind of took possibilities out of my world, and made the focus of things very narrow.
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I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.
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I'm sure Hitler was great with his family.
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I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
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It's legal for men to be floorwalkers and illegal for women to be streetwalkers.
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Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense!
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Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
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