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I've been a performer for a long time and I know when people are laughing from their guts, from the inside, and when their tuxedos are laughing.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Guts
Laughing
Inside
Long
Time
People
Tuxedos
Performer
Performers

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I say things that can be defined as prayers. But I don't pray to a power or ask an entity to intercede in the earthly scheme, because I don't believe that happens. But if I see a really unfortunate person in the street, I do pray, yes, though I suppose it's really more like a mantra to ease my own sorrow.
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Fussy eater is a euphemism for big pain in the ass.
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It seems only right. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' These days, Trajedi.
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Lenny Bruce genius was the unique ability to investigate hypocrisy and expose social inequities in a street rap that was really a form of poetry.
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Christian Deodorant: Thou Shalt Not Smell
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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That's the whole meaning of life, isn't it? Trying to find a place for your stuff.
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Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
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There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment, because I feel if I have my physical space in order, then I'm free to dream.
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They're only words. You can't be afraid of words that speak the truth, even if it's an unpleasant truth.
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Nothing you see on the Internet is mine unless it comes from one of my albums, books, HBO specials, or appeared on my website.
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I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people. When you drop a newspaper over a sign and walk away with it, or take something off a wall and the sound of the glue ripping makes people turn around. Your heart is racing, it's a rush.
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I think self-expression is present at all times, and whether or not you're talking about the outside world or your responses to it depends on the moment and the subject.
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If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.
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Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
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There's this man who lives in the sky, and he has ten things he doesn't want you to do, and you'll burn for a long time if you do them. But he loves you.
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Every time you use the phrase all my life it has a different meaning.
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God bless the homicidal maniacs. They make life worthwhile.
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