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I don't like the phrase shock value. Surprise is essential in comedy, and if people are shocked by what I consider merely surprising, then that's their shock. But there is no joke without surprise.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
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Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
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Shocked
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More quotes by George Carlin

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Did you ever look at your watch, and you look away... and you don't know what time it is?
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In Hawaii they say, aloha. That's a nice one, It means both hello and good-bye Which just goes to show, if you spend enough time in the sun you don't know whether you're coming or going.
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I'll tell you a little secret about the Blues: it's not enough to know which notes to play, you have to know why they need to be played.
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My father? My father left when I was quite young. Well actually, he was asked to leave. He had trouble metabolizing alcohol.
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Catholics are against abortions. Catholics are against homosexuals. But, I can't think of anyone who has less abortions than homosexuals!
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Hallucinogens are a value changer...like it or not, it changes your values, it opens up windows (doors of perception.)
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Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin' ready to hang himself.
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Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky.
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Nothing you see on the Internet is mine unless it comes from one of my albums, books, HBO specials, or appeared on my website.
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I call him Governor Bush because that's the only political office he's ever held legally in this country. I don't care where they hang his portrait, I don't care how big his library is. To me, he'll always be Governor Bush. I don't even capitalize his name when I type it anymore.
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If the shoe fits, buy another one just like it.
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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The following statement is true. The previous statement is false.
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We created god in our own image and likeness!
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Property is theft. Nobody owns anything. When you die, it all stays here.
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There may or may not be atheists in foxholes, but I'm certain there are none in the Ku Klux Klan.
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The US Army has announced that although it is true they performed mind-destroying drug tests on hundreds of soldiers in the 1960s, none of the victims have been promoted beyond the rank of lieutenant colonel.
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Suppose I could shoot myself in the mouth, but what if I miss? People will laugh at me.
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Broadway isn't a very big career move. There's no money in it and it doesn't mean anything to your career. It's just a nice little jewel in the crown.
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We kind of shape our truths as we speak them. We fashion things to suit the occasion or the person or our own needs in the moment.
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