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I don't like the phrase shock value. Surprise is essential in comedy, and if people are shocked by what I consider merely surprising, then that's their shock. But there is no joke without surprise.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
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Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Comedy
Shock
Values
Essential
Without
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Like
Surprise
Phrase
People
Jokes
Shocked
Consider
Surprising
Merely
Phrases
Value
Joke
More quotes by George Carlin
Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.
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By the age of six or seven, I was already doing voices and faces, making my friends and my mother laugh.
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Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
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We kind of shape our truths as we speak them. We fashion things to suit the occasion or the person or our own needs in the moment.
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Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.
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I've never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.
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The ritual was very important to me: cleaning the pot, rolling the pot.
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The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
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When I first heard the song Don't worry - be happy I realized it was exactly the kind of mindless philosophy that Americans would respond to. It would make a great national anthem along with Me first.
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Your dog thinks you're a god. Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole.
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Every day I break my own personal record for number of days I have been alive.
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In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
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I'm sure Hitler was great with his family.
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I recently bought a book of free verse. For twelve dollars.
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I really haven't seen this many people in one place since they took group photographs of all the criminals and lawbreakers in the Ronald Reagan administration.
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Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
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People who own everything know how to relax a little and bend and exhale once in a while, but they're not going to let it get out of control.
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People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can't do math. And they will readily admit to being awkward: 'I'm such a klutz!' But they will never admit to having a poor sense of humor or being a bad driver.
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
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Don't confuse my point of view with cynicism. The real cynics are the ones who tell you that everything's gonna be all right.
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