Quote

I don't like the phrase shock value. Surprise is essential in comedy, and if people are shocked by what I consider merely surprising, then that's their shock. But there is no joke without surprise.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Values
Essential
Without
Essentials
Like
Surprise
Phrase
People
Jokes
Shocked
Consider
Surprising
Merely
Phrases
Value
Joke
Comedy
Shock

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When it comes to bullshit...bigtime, major league bullshit...you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims...religion.
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The future will soon be a thing of the past.
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The women who line up at a comic's dressing-room door are not what you'd call your class groupies.
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The good lord tripped me up behind the line of scrimmage.
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Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.
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If the cops didn't see it, I didn't do it!
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Test of Metal: Will of Iron, Nerves of Steel, Heart of Gold, Balls of Brass.
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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
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There was about a two-year period at the end of the '60s, when I realized I was in the wrong place and entertaining the wrong people with the wrong material and that I was not being true to myself. I went through a metamorphosis into something more authentic for me, a more authentic stage voice and writing voice.
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Property is theft. Nobody owns anything. When you die, it all stays here.
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The base of evil in the world is religion of any kind
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I, myself, have killed six people. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. And, let me tell you, there's nothin' like it. It's a great feeling. Yeah, I know, you're thinking. 'Aw, he's a comedian. He's just sayin' that stuff.' Good. That's exactly what I want you to think.
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All the wrong things for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes people just want to feel different. And so long as Third World peasants are poor they will send us drugs, and as long as we are empty we will ask for this little plant.
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When you think about it, attention-deficit order makes a lot of sense. In this country there isn't a lot worth paying attention to.
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No one who has had Taps played for them has ever been able to hear it.
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And now gay people want to get married... Haven't they suffered enough?
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Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game. Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.
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They're only words. You can't be afraid of words that speak the truth, even if it's an unpleasant truth.
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