Quote

I always wanted and enjoyed sex, but I never put much importance on scoring or having an athletic sex life. I guess I define myself more by my career and my commitment to a relationship than by my ability to have a lot of chicks or achieve ten orgasms in an evening.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Wanted
Guess
Scoring
Much
Importance
Chicks
Always
Sex
Athletic
Never
Career
Define
Life
Careers
Evening
Relationship
Enjoyed
Achieve
Ten
Ability
Commitment
Orgasms

More quotes by George Carlin

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When I listen to those tapes now, the real cocaine shows there's just nothing special about their content.
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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
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A crazy person doesn't really lose his mind. It just becomes something more entertaining.
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How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
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One of the more pretentious political self-descriptions is 'Libertarian.' People think it puts them above the fray. It sounds fashionable, and to the uninitiated, faintly dangerous. Actually, it's just one more bullshit political philosophy.
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What do dogs do on their day off? Can't lie around – that's their job!
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The US Army has announced that although it is true they performed mind-destroying drug tests on hundreds of soldiers in the 1960s, none of the victims have been promoted beyond the rank of lieutenant colonel.
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Anger is a handy term and words are tricky, as we know. What one man perceives as anger, another person - in my case the deliverer of material - is, Don't you see it, don't you see how badly you're doing? It's like shaking a child - which you're not supposed to do.
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I gravitated toward being a funny guy. I liked the radio comedians. I lived in the Golden Age of radio, and the Golden Age of television came along when I was still in my early teens.
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I was a stonehead for 30 years. I'd wake up in the morning and if I couldn't decide whether I wanted a joint or not, I'd smoke a joint to figure it out. And I stayed high all day long.
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One of the first things they teach you in Driver's Ed is where to put your hands on the steering wheel. They tell you put 'em at ten o'clock and two o' clock. Never mind that . I put mine at 9:45 and 2:17. Gives me an extra half hour to get where I'm goin'.
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And now gay people want to get married... Haven't they suffered enough?
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I never worry that all hell will break loose. My concern is that only part of hell will break loose and be much harder to detect.
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I think it keeps the child alive in me. There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people.
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Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.
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The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election
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Suppose I could shoot myself in the mouth, but what if I miss? People will laugh at me.
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For a long time, I've distinguished between entertainer and performer and entertainer and artist. To me, an entertainer is someone who pleases others, and an artist tries to please himself.
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What year did Jesus think it was?
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I hope no one asks me to show them the ropes I have no idea where they are. Maybe I could pull some strings and find out.
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