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I think we overrate ourselves in terms of our abilities and capacities. I mean, just because you can build a really swell bridge doesn't, to my way of thinking, mean that you're an advanced civilization.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
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Abilities
Ability
Advanced
Doesn
Bridge
Mean
Bridges
Really
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Way
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Overrate
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Swell
Thinking
Civilization
Capacities
More quotes by George Carlin
How come when it's us, it's an abortion, and when it's a chicken, it's an omelette? Are we so much better than chickens all of a sudden? When did this happen that we passed chickens in goodness? Name six ways we're better than chickens. See, nobody can do it! You know why? 'Cause chickens are decent people.
George Carlin
To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.
George Carlin
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?
George Carlin
When he got loaded, the human cannonball knew there were not many men of his caliber.
George Carlin
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it?
George Carlin
I try not to see new comics - their acts or their films. Part of that is professional. I don't want to be influenced. But another part is fear and jealousy. I'm afraid to see how good they might be. I don't like that emotion, but it's part of me.
George Carlin
The base of evil in the world is religion of any kind
George Carlin
There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
George Carlin
The next time a prostitute solicits your business, ask for the clergyman's rate.
George Carlin
A dog has no shame. If he can do it, you can watch.
George Carlin
I think I am, therefore, I am... I think.
George Carlin
There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting!
George Carlin
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.
George Carlin
The Human Species could have been great but instead we became satisfied with lights on our tennis shoes.
George Carlin
Why don't they have waiters in waiting rooms?
George Carlin
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
George Carlin
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
George Carlin
No comment is a comment.
George Carlin
I have this real moron thing I do? It's called thinking.
George Carlin
Nothing rectifies out-of-control market failures like a healthy dose of government intervention and mountains of bureaucracy.
George Carlin